Sunday Morning Irony
Morning…
I needed to write
I needed to dump
I needed to smoke
Coffee I had
But
I can’t write
Without cigarettes
I can’t dump
Without cigarettes
Hell
I can’t do anything
Without cigarettes
Off to the store
7am on a Sunday
I know better
Than to leave myself
Without
Poor planning and
Too much weed
Left me prone
Upon the couch
The night before
Scolaris was open
No one in line
I placed my order
Some guy behind me
Bitching about paying
Two bucks
For a Saturday paper
Made a side comment
About smoking
I ignored it
I walked outside
With my precious
Oh my precious!
And lit one up
Making sure to be
Away from the door
The same guy
Walked outside
And started in on me
About smoking
Getting all worked up
I stood silently puffing
Smirking
He went on and on
About second hand smoke
His rights
Freedom
America
It was obnoxious
I didn’t care
Suddenly he grabbed
His chest
And dropped
Liked a tosssed ciggie
I stood there
For a moment
Considering my duty
I could just walk away
I could tell someone else
I could yell
Serves you right asshole!
Instead
I did CPR
He came back to life
And looked at me
Yep, it’s me asshole
The guy you screamed at
The guy who smokes
The guy who saved your
Pathetic freedom loving
Life
I stood up and lit a smoke
The paramedics arrived
Someone had called 911
I waited to see
If he would lambaste me
Nothing
I kneeled down
And whispered in his ear
Don’t you just love irony?
His face twisted
I laughed
And went back home
To write and dump
The end
November 8, 2009 at 4:53 pm
As an ex smoker this goes against my grain but…you shoulda blown smoke rings in his mouth when you did cpr…of course this is fiction lol I always found it funny that when I smoked I gave blood and that was okay, blood from a smoker. No one ever turned down my type O negative. You need to write more short stories B. Any chance of a serialized story on here? Hmmm?
November 8, 2009 at 4:56 pm
There’s always a possibility when it comes to writing…
And who said it was fiction?
November 8, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Great writer are just great. They have the ability to take any subject and with 26 letters make magic happen. Sunday Morning delight.
November 8, 2009 at 6:08 pm
Thanks Sara!
November 8, 2009 at 7:40 pm
Possibility? Get back to me on that will ya? hehehe Not fiction huh? Is it creative non fiction?
November 8, 2009 at 7:54 pm
It’s all just insanity
November 8, 2009 at 9:27 pm
Well Bindo, if this isn’t fiction then you’ve done what most of us have never done or will probably ever do, saved the life of a stranger simply because you are a good person who did the right thing when the die was cast.
If it is fiction, you are a hell of a writer my friend.
November 8, 2009 at 9:28 pm
Thanks Paul…..Its a fine compliment either way
November 8, 2009 at 11:25 pm
Knee drop onto the chest will usually work wonders in cases like these (explaining a boot print is a no win situation-benefit from my experience).
‘my precious’ good one
November 9, 2009 at 12:15 am
LOL…Dig the new avatar!
November 9, 2009 at 5:28 am
Yeah, it keeps ‘em from askin’ how old I am more than once, I’ve noticed.
November 9, 2009 at 11:24 am
Ooops, forgot to tell ya- that Knee Drop move? Translated from it’s native tongue to English it reads Iron Knee. Ironic, huh?
November 9, 2009 at 11:26 am
Pierce, that ain’t even close to funny. More like Moronic.
November 9, 2009 at 11:27 am
Oh, yeah- ask me how old I am. Go on. I dares ya.
November 9, 2009 at 11:28 am
Save it, Pierce.
November 9, 2009 at 11:29 am
I double dog dares ya.
November 9, 2009 at 11:29 am
Get a blog, dude.
November 9, 2009 at 11:30 am
I double dirty dog dares ya.
November 9, 2009 at 11:31 am
You are just doing this to see your picture, huh?
November 9, 2009 at 11:31 am
Is it that obvious?
November 9, 2009 at 11:32 am
Wanker.
November 9, 2009 at 11:32 am
Twit.