There will be no poetry today although I’m inspired enough to line it out. No, today I just want to publicly say, “Fuck you Google!”
In a world of bigger, better and faster I had searched out any and all browsers and in the beginning…..Yes, there’s always a beginning, Google Chrome soared like a jet through the morass of Internet madness. It leaped tall websites in a single bound and had me mesmerized by it’s efficiency. It reminded me of love at first sight and the lust that follows as sure fingers explore strange new territory. Just to see the icon made me smile.
Then one day, yes, there’s always one day; something strange appeared on my beloved new browser. No matter which page I went to, including my own websites, my poetry…. MY POETRY???
Otherwise known as my soul in print; there I found word links to inane and trivial ads. Ads for old women wanting to look younger, old men wanting to stay hard longer, creams, moisturizers, car wax, ear wax, toe jam, food, pharmaceuticals, furniture, pets, desperate singles, insurance, politicians…. argh!
I felt violated, raped…..Prison raped
I had first noticed this on Facebook and thought it was indigenous to Mr.Zuckerberg’s desire to rule and rake it in. I wrote messages to my friends. I asked them about the ads. They wrote back and said they didn’t see any. Something was amiss.
I searched high and low and found these lame little word links dressed in blue eyeliner everywhere I turned. Needless to say, I was beyond irritated and went to Google looking for a contact page.
Google doesn’t want my negative feedback.
Google doesn’t want my complaint.
Google doesn’t want my ire.
Google doesn’t want to hear from me at all.
No email box, no phone number, no handy support, no tech in your corner, no friendly chat you up, no nothing but……
Their physical address was available. So, if I wanted to drive two hours north to San Jose AKA Silicon Valley as my blood boiled with every passing mile, and storm into their office, shout obscenities, get arrested and ruin my year, let alone my day; I forgot the whole idea.
No, I don’t have a calm, cool collected button when I feel like I’ve been used.
Oh, but they want to hear my praise!
Please tell us how we’re doing!
Tell us how we give you wood!!
Tell us how awesome we are!!!
Tell us tell us tell us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay…..FUCK YOU GOOGLE!!!!!!
How dare you give me something extraordinary and brilliant and lace it with Anthrax. How dare you pretend all is well and then BAM… sneak it in one week later. How dare you, you, you…..Fuckers!
Of course, there is an easy solution.
I deleted Google Chrome and brought back my first love, the one who never let me down, the one who always did what I asked and never complained, my old friend Opera. I admit, Opera doesn’t get along with everyone; there’s usually an incompatible punch out at one point or another. But I don’t get along with everyone either, just ask my friends, ask my enemies.
Enemies? Well, I just added one more to the list.