Brostein asked me why
I dug Charlie Sheen so much
During a Man Date
While our wives were off the grid
No doubt getting in trouble
Thinking about his question
I could only laugh and say
You HAVE to dig someone
Who could come up with
“High Priest Vatican Assassin Warlock”
Although I added
Perhaps it should be
“Warlock Vatican Assassin”
Has a better flow…
Brostein nodded his head
The only way he knows how
It’s reminiscent
Of a man doing neck stretches
Do you think the Vatican
Would have Warlock Assassins ?
He asked
I don’t know, I offered
I’m Jewish…
What the hell does a Jew know about the Vatican?
What about that semi-anti-semitic comment by Charlie?
Brostein asked in between sips on his Guinness
I shook my head while chewing day old coffee
Nah, that was just a dig at his boss
Besides
Everyone’s anti-semitic
Even the Jews
Brostein raised an eyebrow
The Jews hate the Jews?
Sure, I said
When fear turns you into
What you hate the most
All one can do while brushing ones teeth
Is loath oneself in the mirror
Just then…
Some guy wearing a trench coat
Designer sunglasses and a cleric’s white collar
Jumped out from the bushes
Waved his arms in a bizarre fashion
Yelled some incantation in Latin
And the guy sitting next to us
Eating the pasta special
Dropped dead
I looked at Brostein with a wry smile
And chomped on a bread stick
There was nothing to say
The world’s a crazy place
Just ask Charlie Sheen
We tipped the server thirty percent
And took off to meet
Our neighborhood gardener
She had a new strain
Something called
“Christmas in Vietnam”
